SPOKANE, WA – It’s no secret that Sony’s latest major release, Concord, has struggled to find an audience despite being a fun, well-polished first person shooter with many homosexual characters. The reasoning behind the game’s shaky launch has been hotly debated online, with some blaming the $40 price of entry while others blame the many homosexual characters. Either way, Concord developer Firewalk Studios needs to find a way to appeal to children with ADHD soon or their first game could very well be their last. The pressure is on more than ever with 2024 being riddled with studio shutdowns and layoffs, so Video Entertainment Analysis Group reached out to Firewalk to discuss potential remedies going forward. Unfortunately, we were instantly blocked and hit with a demand that we pay $8 to a Firewalk dev in order to recieve a reply.
It took a few nights but we finally saw Firewalk’s plan in real time instead of having to sit through a boring interview about it. Honestly, I don’t even like video games anymore and I see all these streamers and “influencers” getting my salary multiplied by like ten just for walking around in public so the last thing I want to do is talk to some strange nerd about the dumb game he worked on. If it was a girl developer it’d be cool though, and of course if it was a trans developer I’d have no problems at all but it does suck that I wouldn’t be able to ask them on a date later since I’m just not attracted to male genitals. I’m still leftist and everything and of course I support them but I just don’t want to be around that when I’m at home. Anyway, I loaded up Concord on my PC because I like leaving games on while Steam is running so my played hours go up and it looks like I actually play the games I buy, when I saw something incredible.
My queen. Mother. She. It was her in her JPEG title screen era. IT WAS TAYLOR OMGGGGG!!!!!! I smashed my head against my desk a few times until I saw blood and then I checked the Steam player counts, and holy moly, Concord was GIVING SUCCESSFUL GAME FR there was like a million bajillion players! Concord is saved! And football is back!!!! Go TRAVIS KELCE!!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE CONCORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Intellectual Always,
VEAG.
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